


realising there's no right answer

by aceofdiamonds



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:11:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1951110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofdiamonds/pseuds/aceofdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not Adam," he murmurs when Ronan breaks away, a gasp tumbling out and hitting Gansey's jaw. </p>
<p>His breathing is shaky like the rest of him. "I know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	realising there's no right answer

**Author's Note:**

> i love gansey and ronan and every form of their relationship

Gansey's sitting cross-legged in the middle of Monmouth Motoring when the door bangs open and Ronan fills the room. The cereal box he has been carefully painting for the last hour to become the house down beside the river is placed to the side as Gansey gets to his feet, assessing the situation and coming up blank. 

"Adam," Ronan says, the name falling out of him in a way that makes Gansey ache and think of Blue, and _oh_. Adam. Ronan. "Fucking Adam." 

He stands by the window, his body slumped against the sill, and Gansey wonders if he's hoping for Adam to show up, if he's expecting it. 

"What happened?" 

"I fucked up, Gansey," Ronan says out of the window and his voice sounds wrecked, like that's how he feels deep inside. Gansey takes a step towards him. 

"Where's Adam, Ronan?" 

Ronan turns and when he sees how close Gansey is he surges forward and kisses him. His lips are chapped where they push against Gansey's, hard and desperate. Gansey is pulling back, he should pull back, when Ronan's hand moves to the base of his neck where Gansey can feel it tremble. The delicacy of the fingers and the weak sound that Ronan makes next is enough for Gansey to decide quickly, somewhat blindly, that this is the right thing to do. If he wants to help Ronan in any way that he can, this is the right thing to do.

He kisses back. The kiss is fast and dirty, everything Gansey thought kissing Ronan would be like if the thought had ever crossed his mind.

"I'm not Adam," he murmurs when Ronan breaks away, a gasp tumbling out and hitting Gansey's jaw. 

His breathing is shaky like the rest of him. "I know."

"Ronan, what happened?"

Ronan kisses him again to avoid the question. He pushes his tongue between Gansey's lips, forces it into his mouth, and Gansey lets him because he can feel that this is what Ronan needs, just for the moment. His own selfishness is pulsing around the edges of this bubble they've encased themselves in because if what Blue says is true, that they're each other's true love, then he's not going to kiss anyone until the moment he dies. He kisses back. 

His hands are soft on Ronan's waist, gently leading him into the centre of the room, away from barriers made from walls and empty windows. This time Gansey is the one to bring it to an end, slowing the kiss down before stopping it entirely, a quiet noise when their mouths part. "Please tell me what happened, Ro."

With his head dropped onto Gansey's shoulder in a sigh of total defeat, Ronan's answer is muffled. "I kissed him. Gansey, I kissed Adam."

Something inside of Gansey tells him the magnitude of this but he keeps his voice even, calm, when he says, "And then what happened?"

"He pushed me away and then he told me he doesn't feel the same way. I knew that anyway -- _fuck_ , I'm so stupid. It was an impulse, he was just _there_ , watching me. I'm so fucking stupid."

"You're not stupid," Gansey says, finding the truth somewhere between the buzz in his head and the way he feels when he thinks about Blue. He feels so fucking stupid sometimes. "You're just --"

"Delusional?"

"Hopeful."

"You talk some bullshit, Gansey," he says, his words going into Gansey's shoulder before his ears. Ronan lifts his head slightly, turns so their eyes meet. His are a little red round the edges, his pupils blown. Gansey's sure his are the same, minus the redness. "I'm sorry for kissing you."

He shrugs, jostling his best friend. "It was what you needed. I hope I made the right call."

"This isn't going to change everything, is it?" 

Gansey chooses to reply by tugging Ronan into a hug, his arm tight round his waist, careful on his neck. "I don't know, Ronan."

"I fucked up," he says again, believing it so entirely Gansey's arms tighten around him immediately, trying to pull him even closer.

"I know I'm not Adam but you've got me." 

"You're my best friend, Gansey." 

The moon cuts into the room, illuminating the growing town around their feet. Everything's changing already, magic does that. "I know. You're mine too."

This won't change, not Gansey and Ronan. Magic hasn't got shit on them.

 

 


End file.
